Back In Action

I have been gone for several weeks.  Not because I have wanted to be, but because life dictated a change.  Over the summer our family had to deal with a lot of different stressors.  Some would say they were learning or growing experiences.  No, they are were hard, difficult, and all around sucky.

So what do you say to someone that is dealing with all the yuckiness in the world that hits them all at once?  Most don't know what to say because they don't want to sound insensitive or be a jerk.  From someone that has had to deal with all of this, I say just tell someone that they care and will be there if you need it.  Most of the time that is all a person needs.

When you get back to the world of the normal, how do you deal with all the changes that have occurred?  No one wants to be labeled the drama case that everyone has to support lest they drop at a moment's notice.  After going through everything, I have a few suggestions.

Take Time To Breathe
Give yourself breaks throughout the day to help reorient yourself to the schedule.  There will be moments that bring back the bad memories or events and you need the time to get through them.

It's Okay To Say You Are Not Okay
If you are having a difficult time, it's alright to tell someone that you are having troubles and need to talk.  There is nothing worse than seeing someone in obvious pain but have them say, "I'm fine, I'm okay, nothing to worry about."  Because you know they aren't.

Laugh Your Butt Off
Laughter is the best medicine.  It shows the world that you have a sense of humor.  Even horrible things that happen to you have lighter moments in between and those are what you have to hang on to when it takes a turn for the worse.  Some may find you are acting like a lunatic but that in itself could mean that you are on the road to something better.

Therapy, The Talking Medicine
Therapy still has a bit of a stigma, especially in some parts of the working world where it's seen as a weakness.  If you have the courage to speak with someone about your issues, it means that you are taking the steps needed to solving the problem and moving on.  Because who wants someone that keeps lamenting about things 10 years after they have happened?  It isn't healthy for anyone and causes more stress than it needs.

So if you are coming off huge, stressful, awful things that are horrible to think about or handle, remember that are people out there that can help.  And after that, you can set yourself up for success by writing down the things that you want to accomplish.  Having something to look forward to is way better than regretting everything that has happened in the past.

Sunday Sunday

Like most of America, I am relaxing on Sunday and reflecting on all that has happened in the past week.  There have been some stressful items that came my way but I am happy with the way that I handled things.  One of the reasons that I think it went as well as it did was my point of view about worrying.

For myself, worrying has been a fine art that has been crafted over many years.  This has almost been my badge of honor.  But this badge of honor came with a price.  I was moody, doubting, and sometimes unpleasant to be around.  But in the past couple of years, that has taken a major turn around. Part of this I can credit with the classes I have taken in order to earn my Master's degree and my coaching certification.  

When you worry, you waste energy.  And I mean a lot of energy.  You constantly think about what could, should, would be done if you had only done things a bit differently.  When you waste all of this energy, it slows you down and you drag along your day.  And what does this all get you?  Extra pounds, a prescription for heart medication, and a trip to the doctor for a physical.  None of which is very exciting.  Plus you are so tired there is no way you are going to make it through the day without some artificial help like pop, coffee, or energy drinks.  Never mind that a lot of these items don't taste the greatest, they aren't the boost that you need.  When you have a problem, what should you do?

Even with a small issue, it helps to create a plan.  You have to know what the issue is, potential solutions to what is going on, and what needs to happen if that doesn't work.  Some people would call that a back-up plan.  I have had to have several back-up plans since nothing I was doing was working the way I wanted it to.  

In the past, if something didn't work out I would fuss and carry on like it was the end of the world.  I have since learned that focus and intestinal fortitude is what takes you on to the next level.  It isn't easy to do the right thing or the best thing for the current situation.  But I can tell you from personal experience things are going to happen whether you like it or not.  Either you can be the one that is in control of the situation and the outcome or you can sit by and worry about what is going to happen and let the worst possible outcome play itself out.  I prefer the control version myself.  

Stress and A Mess

I recently had to deal with a wet carpet problem in my basement.  I couldn’t figure out where this water was coming and I knew I had to fix it or I was going to be running from the mold.  Thankfully we discovered that our furnace was having a hiccup with the drainage system and it was an easy fix.  Quite different from having to fork out thousands of dollars repairing the foundation, which was what we thought was causing the water to come up out of the ground. 

This got me thinking about how we deal with stress and our support systems.  Who do you have that can help you in a time of need?  A lot of people think that they have to be the ones handling everything.  But how does this affect you when you can’t share how you feel with a loved one or a co-worker?

Everyone needs supports in place in order to handle the situations that come about that exceed your stress threshold.  It doesn’t mean that you are weak or can’t deal with things.  Telling someone what you think about the problem actually helps alleviate some of the pressure you may be experiencing.  A loved one, friend, co-worker, or my favorite a coach, can help you figure out what you need to do to get a handle on the state of affairs. 

Stress is not the enemy.  It can help you realize your potential.  Having someone around that supports you when you need it is important in how you handle the situation.  Sure it can make you feel crazy sometimes but after it’s said and done, you can share with others that you survived to live another day.  Hopefully with a smile on your face.  

A Coach and A Goal? What are you talking about?

When you think of the word coach, what comes to mind?  Most people conjure up images of football, baseball, basketball coaches roaming the sidelines and directing the action out of the field or court.  However, there is a vast majority of people that don't play sports that also need someone, like a personal or professional coach, to help guide them into making better choices for themselves.

Coaching is for the future betterment of ourselves.  While a coach may be there to support decisions that will help us grow as a person, they are not there to be a counselor or mental health specialist.  A coach is there to ask the questions you need to ask yourself and help you explore the answers so you can find that goal you want to accomplish.

But how does one figure out what goal to work on? For most, the goal has to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.  So what does this mean?

A goal should be specific.  If you can't express your goal in a sentence or two, you are attempting to work on too much and will a greater chance of failure.  Is it measurable?  Can you track the data from the beginning of the process to the end and find a specific amount of improvement?  It it attainable?  Some people wish to achieve outrageous goals but breaking them down in more appetizing, smaller goals may be the way to achieve your final outcome.

Reality has to be a major factor in determining a proper goal for yourself.  If you have two broken legs and you want to try and climb a mountain, you have to consider that you won't be climbing anything but a set of stairs for awhile.  Better think of something else.  Timely is also important to consider when you are thinking of a goal.  Is it a good time to work on this goal?  Will it help improve your life or would something else be better?

Having the ability to write all this information down and track the important milestones as they occur will help ensure that you are successful in working with your coach and achieving the measurable goals that you set out to work on.  It can also be a great way to show others that you are able to set your mind to a specific task and work through the issues until completion.  Hey, it's not bragging if it is true!

Your Energy: Are You Using It The Right Way

Recently I had the opportunity to listen to Andrew Deutscher, Vice President of Business Development of the Energy Project at the Nebraska Heartland Coaches Association meeting.  When I first learned of the name, I assumed that this person had something to do with energy research related to electricity.  What I learned in that hour has changed and affirmed some of what I felt was important for work and for balance within your life.  

One item he discussed during the webinar was the importance to renew your energy.  This is something that many of us do not do because it may make us appear that we are being lazy or not committing to the task at hand.  But how many of us can manage to work relentlessly for 8 hours a day every day with no time to relax or get away from the tasks we are involved in?  

This is where a change in our behavior can be useful in handling stress and our day to day activities.  Are you constantly worrying about what is going to come in the future or are you thinking about the here and now so you can do your best?  It's important to know that taking a bit of time out for yourself is not selfish.  It shows that you are committed to making yourself the best person you can be.  Think about all the times when you were stressed out, tired, and mentally not checked in.  If you had taken 15 minutes a couple of times throughout the day just to recharge, how would you feel?  I bet that you would be better able to handle the stress and issues of the day.  And I bet your coworkers, friends and family would appreciate the happier you.  

If you would like to see more of what the Energy Project is developing, please go to their website at http://www.theenergyproject.com/.

Welcome to the Your Success Coaching blog!

Your success.  When you think about makes someone successful, what do see?  Money, happiness, prosperity?  For different people, it means different things.  But what doesn't change is how people are resistant to making the decisions needed to make things better for themselves.  Why is that?  They are afraid of changing because it takes work, time, resources, energy that they don't think they have.  

So what is someone supposed to do when they feel "stuck"?  You have to do the work.  But some may be asking, how do I know what to do when I don't know what the heck I want to do?  You start by doing what you are doing right now.  

I decided to start this blog because change is important but it doesn't mean that it can't be meaningful or make you laugh along the way.  Things that happen in life and business can be unexpected learning experiences that are great to share.  I hope that you are able to take some of what I have on this and use it to your advantage.